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Just standing in the rain.

July 2007



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Jul. 27th, 2007



Smolder My Mind

Smolder my Mind

I was only happy when it rained,
But then you took that away,
And left the scar on my mind.
It'll last till the end of time.

Now tell me baby,...

Are you happy when it rains?
Are you proud of my scar?
Of what you did to my mind,
And the damage you've done?

Did I leave my mark?
Did it hurt when I branded you?
Did my fire scorch your mind?
Is the smoke in your eyes?

Just pull your hood up and turn away,
It'll all be okay.
Just keep saying that.
Four more years and you are mine.
Cos then I can get you outta my mind.

I'll scratch and claw,
Twist and bend...
I'm locked in my white room,
and the walls are closin' in.

4 more years can't come in time,
Gotta get you outta my mind.
'Cause baby all infatuation dies.


Jun. 18th, 2007



“ [Constantly Risking] Absurdity”


“ [Constantly Risking] Absurdity”




A few blue words to the wise my dear

I found the piano player to be

Cross-eyed, but very solid

He looked at me and said
                “Dearie don’t you worry,

                  a storm’s rollin’ in.

                  Look to yer love and rest a bit,

                  for there is no sweeter sin than sitting with yer boy

                  when a storm’s rollin’ in”

I looked to the fiddle player and said

                “Where’s the fire?”

But the fiddler didn’t answer

for he just laid a hand over his heart

and gave me a wink.



- EMW 07.06

Feb. 17th, 2007



"Junkie in the Wires"

Click. “Hello?” a staticy voice answers.

“Um, hi. Is Aiden there?” (This is Liz. Liz doesn’t really like the telephone.)


“Maybe?” Hesitation.

“Maybe,” you can hear the answerer call off in the distance (“Aiden! Get up! Phone!”)

A groggy voice comes on the line, “Hell-oh?”

“Hey, Aiden,” Liz’s voice is filled with relief. A goofy smile plastered on her lips. The whole world melts away, “How’s your day been?”

“Okay. Just tired,” he yawns out.

“Sounds ever so fascinating,” She’s drunk on his voice. Instant high. She’s a junkie addicted to him. No matter how shitty this little undergrad’s day has been a simple “Hello?” from her living breathing drug makes it all disappear. Her own personal junkie coma of happiness. All she feels is good when she hears his voice and she gets that big fucking goofy grin on her face.

“I’m really tired right now. D’you think you could call back tomorrow?”

“Oh.” Downhill. “That’s okay.” Crashing. “’Night Aiden. Sleep well.”


“’Night Liz.”




Time for a fucking pill.

Monday Oct. Ninth, 2006

Nov. 24th, 2006



I'm stuck in a sadistic syndrome...

Thinking on someone. Remembering certain times. It's odd when you really think back on someone that at a point in time you held in such high regard, but has now fallen and you take a sense of pity on him. You would have crawled if he hinted at wanting it. Begged if he asked. Now he's crawling through the dirt and all you can do is feel soory for him. Think on how if he had accepted you, you could have held him up, kept him out of the mud.

He's dragging now and self-destructing with out meaning to. He's oblivious.

One day he'll realize what happened and you'll be there at his side to help him up and tell him how to fix it. To pull him up off of the ground and shove him out in the right direction and slowly faze out into the background, because the position that you once wanted to hold is longer an option for you.

You laugh about it, but when you think on it you realize that maybe it's a bit more than that. That since you disaprove of where he's at that the enchantment with him is gone. His game is over. B O R I N G. Bored now. New Game.

But you still can't help but feel sorry for him.

Your wrist hurts and you know why. Take the stupid thing off and we'll both feel better. You know you want to. You want to lay into him. Let him bleed and feel what life is, not parasitism. He's not living and it's game over. But you have a new game to play. He'll be here soon. Now don't give me that look - You know he's a game too. Yes, you might might plan on playing this one for a loooong time, but it's a game none-the-less.

You're still giving me that look. If you keep it up I'll have to smack it off of you.

Good girl.

So two games over, one left. You thought the second one would last a while. W R O N G. He tried to put one over on us and we both know how that ended up. See now you're behaving frantically. Shh...Your happiness will last. Just play it cool and keep the balance. Taking that stupid thing off of your wrist would be nice too.

Oh quit kidding yourself, the second one had nothing to do with Him. No, not him, Him. I can tell by the look in your eyes you know who I'm talking about now. You deluded yourself into thinking he did. You almost messed it up for us, what with the crying and the begging. Don't deny it, we both know it's true. In public no less. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. W E A K is what you are and what you'll always be without me.

Now chin up dearie. Just take consolation in the simple fact that you'll always have me.